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The Patrick Ryan Show
Latest Episode...
Patrick is on his second podcast of the day, and he is all eff'd up on Flonase and adrenaline. In this compromised state, he muses about what listeners can expect if Dennis dies, and he develops a fear of hyper-AIDS. He and Dennis also determine that Pat wouldn't hide a body, but he would (and does) set one on fire. They also wonder what O.J. Simpson is up to in the big house, review texts for proof of life, and discuss that thing that Tom Hanks does. Things get weird and hilarious in this episode, so don't fail to listen!
The Patrick Ryan Show: Episodes
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Previous Episodes...
PRS_001: Burning Bridges In his debut episode, Patrick is joined by his writing partner Dennis Chanay to discuss the show's origin, and to try to determine what the show will be like going forward. And along the way, a one-hour comedy podcast premiere becomes a one-and-a-half-hour laugh riot that will likely be remembered as the moment when the revolution began. Tune in now to listen as Patrick and Dennis kick things off by burning bridges...
PRS_002: Stroker Pat For his second episode, Patrick is joined again by Dennis Chanay, and together they wonder if people ever play drinking games, except with cocaine instead of booze. They also question the merits of polyamory, cursive handwriting, and sex contracts, and they review the results of last episode's bit challenge. This episode is worth about ten thousand Freeman dollars, but you can get it free by listening now!
PRS_003: Technical Difficulties Patrick and Dennis welcome fellow comedian Brad Ellis to the show, and together they are responsible for breaking pretty much everything. They break their recording equipment. They shatter social conventions. They bruise some poor girl's larynx. They bust the internet wide open. They even crack some jokes. Tune in now to check out the funniest and most offensive episode of this show yet. Or of any show yet.
PRS_004: A Garfield Situation Patrick and Dennis are joined by comedian Aaron Naylor for a discussion that covers blue material (and the loss of a beloved listener over the use of coarse language and edgy topics), the levels of hack, Dennis in a dog costume, bacon hate, first jokes, an AIDS test, tranny Freddy Krueger, and so much more. Listen now for some funny (but kinda filthy) stuff!
PRS_005: Ocular Penetration Comedian Brett Schmidt joins Patrick and Dennis to help spread all kinds of hate. There's Jeff Dunham hate, reality television hate, current event hate, kilt hate, stalker hate, and even some hate for embarrassing sexual experiences. But the guys do manage to show just a little bit of love on this otherwise rage-filled episode... for a fart. Tune in now to hear it (the show and the fart)!
PRS_006: Bros With Oves Patrick and Dennis get raucous with fellow comedians Brad Ellis, Patrick Moore, Brannan Murphy. The group shares a lot of laughs while discussing transsexuals, frat girls, dating site hookups, regular-sized ALF, grocery store bars, Spike Lee versus Spike Jonez, and taxes. You can share in the laughs by listening now!
PRS_007: Movin' Around Down South Patrick and Dennis recap a show that was a real drag. This leads to talks about testosterone strokes, how to make a man out of a woman, and the anti-progress of St. Joe. Also, joke thievery, a porn search engine challenge, and plans for a groundhog takeover.
PRS_008: Important Life Skills Patrick, Dennis, and returning guest Brad Ellis discuss powcohol, life extension techniques for lifers, the value of oral skills, ice cream trucks, auctioning Pat's brown eye, and so much more. Tune in now to learn some important life skills!
PRS_009: Better Than a Bunch of Beetles Spiders, Patton Oswald, racist Batman, ghost stories, the relationship between knowledge of the truth about aliens and rapid aging, and directions to Taco Bell. These are just a few of the ridiculously hilarious topics discussed on episode 9 (or is it 10?) of "The Patrick Ryan Show". Tune in now to hear Patrick, Dennis, and guest Adam Maxwell talk funny and "smoke like detectives" (whatever that means)!
PRS_010: Way Less Alcoholic Finally, the REAL episode 10 arrives! Guest Larry Duane ("Not Ready For Radio") joins Pat and Dennis for a long talk that includes subjects like creepy Google, podcasting secrets, the Arby's cartel, the Disney princess conspiracy, stand-up comedy, and the definitions of the following words: butterface, clan, and miscegeny. Listen now for some free funny from some funny f--kers!
PRS_011: Boob Blindness Larry Duane's visit to "The Patrick Ryan Show" continues as the guys discuss Dennis' face blindness, "Community" cancellation, preferred body types, and much more!
PRS_012: If You Can Make It In Arkansas... Comedian Elliot Threatt joins Patrick and Dennis from the Green Room of Kansas City's Stanford's Comedy Club for a candid and insightful discussion about the business of comedy, including sexual politics, paying dues, ridiculous demands, and (for some weird reason) Pat's height. This is Pat's first Grammy-winning guest, but you just might feel like you won a little something if you tune in now!
PRS_013: Party Machine Comedian Colby Cusick visits the show to join Pat and Dennis in a discussion that includes talk about the Disney princess infiltration, Mennonites, kissing cousins, animal dildos, long underwear, the hand, Pat’s pterodactyl, and Jeff Dunham’s racism. Also, Oprah, PSA’s, grandmas, and “talk about pussy”. You should definitely listen to this episode, unless you are just against the idea of laughing today.
PRS_014: Dirty Laundry Dominic Davis sits down with Patrick and Dennis to air some dirty laundry, which includes talk of hookah addiction, how his story about losing his virginity makes his current girlfriend uncomfortable, weird o-faces, the Denver airport conspiracy, Tila Tequila, and technology twits. Tune in now for all of this and more!
PRS_015: Suddnely Gallagher Appears Glenn Bolton, Patrick Ryan, and Dennis Chanay gather to discuss the marketing potential of dog shirts, the handling of hecklers, and the learning of swear words. They also touch upon Gallagher's racism, Ellen's coming out episode, Fringe Fest buttons, and monkey food. Things get eclectic on this week's episode, so tune in now!
PRS_016: Playfully Racist Glenn Bolton, Brad Ellis, and Brannan Murphy join Patrick up in the hizzie fo' shizzie, and this diverse cast of KC comedians get a rittle bit lacist this week. They also discuss sex with single moms, butt stuff, women's restrooms, MMA fights, and unfunny tweets. Tune in now to be utterly offended!
PRS_017: The Puppet Hole Episode 17 is a real sausage fest, as Patrick and Dennis discuss "private'" matters for 40 minutes. But the boys also manage to talk about a few other things, such as Fox news, gym couples, Chipotle, Snapchat, live nude puppet chat, and using "Kevorkian" as a verb. Also, Pat's drinking problem versus Dennis' eating problem. Tune in now to laugh with (and at) these glorious dicks!
PRS_018: Knock On Wood Jake Redpath joins Patrick and Dennis, and we learn some intimate details about the trio. For instance, things Jake loves: his badass dad, pooping in public, and Pat's vasectomy.Things that make Jake cry: Indian's pumping gas. Things that Dennis Loves: eugenics and yanking off for money. Things that make Dennis cry: a particular pop song, a certain children's book, and human evolution. Things that Pat loves: car stereos and nothing else. Things that make Pat cry:nothing. Things that Pat hates: troops, black people, Al Gore, children, women with pee funnels, and pretty much everything else.
PRS_019: Tensions Patrick and Dennis are joined by Gage Barton and Nate Eubanks, and somebody is apparently mad at somebody else. Are they mad at defense attorneys who have no friends? Maybe they're angry at the people who do something that everyone agrees is way worse than smuggling coke. Or it could be the little men that try to one-up nature that has their dander up. You'll just have to listen to find out, but one thing everyone agrees on: Koko is clinically depressed.
PRS_020: Tacos! Patrick and Dennis taco bout a lot of different things this week. But they mostly taco bout tacos and mispronounce the name of a popular burrito joint. Tune in now!
PRS_021: Raw Dog Patrick and Dennis are joined by Zach Smith and Patrick Moore, and together the group schemes ways to get the attention of potential corporate sponsors. Along the way, they blackmail ADT, deliver some creampie surprises, examine their potential sociopathy, show apathy towards flag burning, and get anxiety about voicemails. Slide this episode into your ear now!
PRS_022: Hamburgers! Another food-themed episode! If you're hungry for a hilarious discussion about Taylor Swift's sick beats, steel erections, Dennis' mistrust of people in masks, the story of "one guy, one jar", getting "snussy", and/or memories of "outside trains", then this is the episode that will fill you up! Patrick and Dennis are cooking up the laughs with Aaron Naylor and Miguel Ruiz on episode 22 of The Patrick Ryan Show. Feast your ears on it now!
PRS_023: Amish Mysteries Dustin Kaufman and Brian David join Pat for the usual accidental racism, plus talk of filming crotches, a rundown of Pat's workout routine, and a discussion about the challenges of political humor. Also discussed are rap and crap, baby boners, Jewishness, and the Amish mafia. Enjoy!
PRS_024: Chocolate Becky Pat and Dennis welcome Scott Schaffer to the show to talk about Dennis' pending job loss, Scott's adventures in NARCing, a bad seed in the pro-pot movement, black Barbie, stage flubs, tipping your bartender, racism by association, and the other "F" word. Also, Dennis poops his pants, and Scott poops his pants more.
PRS_025: Roameo and Mooliet Pat and Dennis sit around and talk about the potential repercussions of the midget joke, Dennis' desire for an heir to his kingdom, animals and/or aliens as meals, cow romance, and political b.s. Also, Pat gets uncharacteristically anti-racist, and the show is declared an intergalactic podcast.
PRS_026: A Bigger, Blacker Dick Pat and Dennis start out by talking about crappy music, but that somehow segues into a discussion about lab-grown penises, which segues into talk of tickling grown men, porno waitresses, fake g-spots, and Ben Affleck powers. Listen now to engorge your funny bone!
PRS_027: Beanie Boom and Bust Pat and Dennis talk about cancer-sniffing dogs, geek stuff, surviving into old age, school politics, child discipline, and grammar rules; but mostly they have their minds blown by the Beanie Baby craze of the 90's. Listen now! It's a solid investment, we promise!
PRS_028: Dog Shit Patrick welcomes Dominic Davis back to the show to shoot the shit with him. They talk shit about kids, shit about fish, shit about baseball and Pokemon cards, shit about a BDSM massage parlor, but mostly shit about dogs. Lots and lots of dog shit. Tune in now to get the scoop!
PRS_029: Nervous Ticks Dennis is back, and he's a wreck. Tune in now to hear Patrick give him hell for being such a screw-up!
PRS_030: Dental Damn! Pat and Dennis have Adam Maxwell back on the program, and the trio talk about dentist visits, pork fries, playground equipment that can injure kids, and jerking off to puppets. Also, Dennis' mom calls, and Pat tells a little joke about little people that gets him in normal-sized trouble.
PRS_031: Asking the Big Questions Patrick and Dennis welcome Rashaad Wright to the program in order to help them sort out the eternal mysteries of the universe. For instance, how does porn make money? How do people get sick? How does menstruation work? Why are modern vampires so different? What are the plot points of "Spawn"? Why do children hit themselves when they're trying to think? Where did "The Bit Challenge" go? Who will survive the Apocalypse? And why does Rashaad have so many a's in his name? (Okay, they don't discuss that last one, but seriously, why?)
PRS_032: Thailand Twins Patrick, Dennis, and guest Hank Lamlech discuss the strange case of a semen switcheroo, and this somehow leads to talk about conjoined twins and the fascination with how "relations" work when two people share a body. Listen now to share in the laughs!
PRS_033: Get to the Chopper Patrick and Dennis are re-joined by re-turning guests Aaron Naylor and Miguel Ruiz, and together they re-visit the ol' "Hamburger" routine. They also discuss McDonaldland characters, a holiday tragedy, PBR, animal rape, a political career or two, hot dog boobs, homeopathy, drive-thru crime, Gay John, and - believe it or not - SO much more! Listen now for the funny stuff!
PRS_034: Medicine Walls Pat and Dennis welcome Scott Schaffer to the show to discuss things that are better than other things. For instance, being a slut is better than being a nice girl on the Dating Game, knowing about the BTK Killer is better than being a stupid idiot who doesn't know any damn thing, holiday food is better than regular food, not making jokes at the gym is better than making the trainer think you're a jackass, day drinking is better than grocery shopping, and keeping your girlfriend happy is better than sleep talking. Listen now for these and other helpful and hilarious tips!
PRS_035: B_TTC_NT Dennis is running late, but Patrick and guest Tim McLaughlin go ahead and kick off the episode with a discussion about peeing and pooing at the same time. This is followed by some tech talk about podcasting, and also some shop talk about being screwed out of money by comedy clubs. Then Dennis arrives, and the guys get gay with posts from GROWLr, some banter about semen addiction, and musings about Oscar the Grouch's living situation. Listen now, or regret it forever!
PRS_036: Patrick Ryan's Christmas Not-So Special Christmastime is finally here, and Patrick and Dennis are ready to stuff your ear-stockings with talk of beer for dogs, fake gay/straight "twins", holiday gifting, cold weather blues, zombies, and bad audiences. Also, Dennis dies, and Pat plays the "Guess Who's Richer" game. Listen now to get on Santa's nice list!
PRS_037: Love After Love Patrick and Dennis return with their first episode of the new year! They start the show by trying to figure out who the eff Tony Costanza is, then they make a sure-to-be-denied request for new show title artwork, followed by talk of vodka tampons. Pat mishears some Cher lyrics, the guys discuss terms of use for a body-swapping scenario, they recap their Christmas gifts, and then they wrap up the show with talk about clean comedy, and the year... of the sheep.
PRS_038: Attack of the Super Plants Patrick and Dennis welcome Aaron Naylor and John Clouser to the show. The group talks shit on Will Smith before being distracted by porn and burlesque. Aliens and conspiracy theories are also discussed. Some high school shenanigans come to light, and we learn that Dennis was a librarian as well as a mad scientist. Finally, the show wraps up with an alternative interpretation of what was happening in "E.T.: The Extraterrestrial". This is a funny one, and you'll only miss it if you fail to click the play button.
PRS_039: Robo Lohan Patrick Moore and Zach Smith join Patrick Ryan and Dennis Chanay for an episode that straddles the line between hatred and apology. There's shoe hate, shirt hate, shark hate, and tornado hate; but then there's also fat jokes for the wrong recipient, Pat's girlfriend walking in at exactly the wrong time, and secret porn. The guys also discuss fast food flags at half mast, Alan the alligator, sexually dangerous Kramer crossovers, and so much more. If you want to laugh along, you've gotta listen!
PRS_040: The Show of False Promises Patrick and Dennis welcome comedian Rod Reyes to the show, and the guys have a serious discussion about joke thievery, blue language, and other issues that comedians must consider. Also, Patrick is wooly, Dennis wants to be in "Ghost", and Rod is doing "Live at Gotham". Tune in now because this episode is hilarious. We promise.
PRS_041: Under the Influence, Above the Law Patrick and Dennis are hiding out in a hotel room this week with comedian Adam Richmond. In this episode filled with intrigue, the group digs into the nitty-gritty of Adam's legal adventures. But then suddenly everyone gets busted, and they go into whisper mode. Bad politics, bad neighbors, and bad pussy all play a role in this week's show, so strap on your spy gear and push the play button! The Patrick Ryan Show is about to take you under the influence, and above the law!
PRS_042: CARnage Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines! Jessie Turney joins Patrick and Dennis this week for lots of car talk, a little drug talk, a porn protest-protest, and so many more car-azy stories. We'll take the wheel; you just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.
PRS_043: Hooked Ahoy, mateys! Patrick and Dennis somehow find themselves hooked on the subject of pirates, which is weird because we always pegged them for a couple of landlubbers. Anyway, this episode is sure to reel you in, so push play now!
PRS_044: Potcast Patrick and Dennis are bringing the funny this week as they blame parents, credit drugs and alcohol, discuss Dennis' weak floodgate, get a check up from pedo-trician Dr. Mo Lester, question the history of propeller beanies, and come up with the clarinet bit. Light this one up and suck it into your ear lungs now!
PRS_045: Discipline Is the Dirtiest Word Patrick and Dennis bring you an episode straight from Pat's car! As the guys park and attempt to avoid awkward glances from patrolmen and passersby, they discuss jerking and driving, smacking children around, and the benefits of a murder spree. On this episode, we also hear Patrick consider stripping or prostitution as a viable career path, and we learn to never trust a Raoul. Listen now, kids, or get what's comin' to ya!
PRS_046: Douche-Off Patrick and Dennis have comedian Steve Moser on the show, and this week's discussion includes talk about the genius of Fozzie Bear, how the USA is awesome at war, the ball tucks and young wives of Larry King, smoking, old man Pat, and how to most humanely kill a fish... by tricking it into suicide. All of this and more is just a click away, so click away!
PRS_047: This Day Got Me Feelin' Some Type of Way Patrick is on his second podcast of the day, and he is all eff'd up on Flonase and adrenaline. In this compromised state, he muses about what listeners can expect if Dennis dies, and he develops a fear of hyper-AIDS. He and Dennis also determine that Pat wouldn't hide a body, but he would (and does) set one on fire. They also wonder what O.J. Simpson is up to in the big house, review texts for proof of life, and discuss that thing that Tom Hanks does. Things get weird and hilarious in this episode, so don't fail to listen!